ベラミス - her epic journey of her soul

Chapter 2 The orphanage and the shed

Belamis followed Dr. Kitty out. They walked along the landscape where the facilities are situated.
It was a sunny day, Belamis looked at the flora, smelled the Earth. In no time they were by the seaside.

"It is beautiful, isn't it?" Dr. Kitty remarked.

Belamis gazed at the scene, listening to the waves.

"You have been in the facilities for too long." Dr. Kitty replied. "You should go around and see".

"Yes...I have time...a lot of time". Belamis remarked.

She parted with Dr. Kitty and wandered about.

Then suddenly a soccer ball came bouncing before her. Belamis picked up the ball.

"Hey....can you kick it back for us ?" A group of little children should at Belamis.

Belamis threw the ball back at them. She looked at the children as they played.

The children was playing near a road. The ball strayed off and rolled to the road. A 5 year old girl ran after the ball. A car was speeding towards the girl.

"Watch out!" Belamis exclaimed. Without even thinking her superhuman cyborg powers came and she dashed to the girl at almost lightning speed, grabbed her, and leaped away from the road to safety, just a split second before the girl was hit by the car.

The little girl did not know what happened. Belamis hold the girl in her arms, saw that she was not harmed, and was relieved.

The little girl chuckled, then she suddenly kissed Belamis' cheek, and said, "I love you..."

Belamis was startled, and she looked at the girl in her arms, eyes glittering. Belamis' soft spot in her heart was touched, and she gently stroke the girl's hair and smiled.

Belamis then carried the girl and walked towards the children. A lady came. "Thank you..thank you...if it is not for you Kuiko will be hit!".
"Not a problem", Belamis remarked.
The lady said, "Kuiko lost her parents....I can't imagine what will happen if she is hit..."
Belamis eyes glowed "They are orphans?"
The lady said, "We are from the orphanage...up there" she pointed towards a small hill.
"Let's head home, play time is over now!" The lady shouted.
Belamis followed the children and the lady.

As they arrived at the hill, there was a long series of steps.
"It leads all the way up to the orphanage..." The lady said.
Belamis looked around, there were a number of them with disabilities. They could not walked up.
"We have to get people to carry them up the steps everytime. Today we were lucky when there were to kind passer-by, other times they'd have to say behind."

Belamis, without a word, picked up one of them and carry him on her back, and two with her arms, and walked up the steps. It was a long 1000 steps flight without stop.

The children looked on with amazement. Apparently not just Belamis‘ kindness, but her strength.

At the hill top, at a plot, there was the orphanage, where there was a living quarters, a classroom, a small garden and a small place to cook. There were not many open spaces at the hill top for play, because there were steep slopes, cliffs, and rocks.

"When the whole orphanage has to have a day out, we have to go down the steps..."
The lady remarked.
"We can only get small quantities of supplies from the wet market because it is too heavy to carry up the steps...".

Belamis looked at the children, and the steps.....

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For six days a week, Belamis was at the orphanage -- offering manual labor. She carried heavy loads of goods up the steps for the orphanage. Now the orphanage could have fresh food and nice fruits everyday.

The children adored Belamis. They often playfully asked Belamis to use her arms to carry them, and she could carry six or seven of them in her two arms.

When the children are in classrooms, Belamis worked in the gardens, digging, planting....getting herself dirty. She planted a lot of flowers - Belamis' home planet was a literal a garden.

Belamis was happy - for the first time she was not fighting monsters, but living amongst people, and she was helping them. In reciprocal the children loved her.

Dr. Kitty saw that there was a glow in Belamis face.

Assistant professor, "She looked very happy every time she came back from the orphanage..."
"She found human connections there...." Dr. Kitty remarked. "It is good for her.....before that...she was all by herself...without friend..."

Dr. Kitty knew very well that human connection, human company and be loved, helped Belamis.
"Her healing has just begun...." She thought to herself.

The manual labour made Belamis felt human, no longer the cyborg for fighting cosmic monsters, but a human among humans, offer her strength, and felt loved.

During outings, Belamis would carry the few disabled children using her arms and on her back, walking up and down the long flight of steps. She carried loads of supplies for the orphanage.

The bonding between Belamis and the children was forming and growing strong. The children loved her.
Belamis, with her devotion to the orphanage, is ready to protect the children, even risking her life.


Unbeknownist to Earth beings, aggressive eyes were watching.

"This Earth is unprotected..."
"The only cyborgs capable of protecting it are far away, and will be busy for a long time...."
"We has to take this opportunity to strike and snatch all that has to be taken..."
"Let's implement phase one...."

Belamis and the children were indoors. Belamis was helping with their homework.

Suddenly...

"A tremor..." A student cried...

Dust fell from the roof...the tremor intensified. "Earthquake!!!"

"Get out to the open spaces!" Belamis exclaimed, and she helped to evacuate the children.

She turned to grab the 3 children who could not walk. Suddenly a wooden beam gave away and was about to fall onto the 3 children.

"No!!!" Belamis cried. She rushed forward and stood under the beam. The heavy wooden beam fell onto her.
"Arg...." She felt the weight of the beam and the pain when it hit her back.

She supported the beam with her body, then lifted it up with her arms.

"Run!! Go!!!". She cried. The other children helped the three disabled ones out.

When the children were all out in the open, the classroom collapsed.

Then there was a stir, Belamis pushed away the rubbles, and walked out.

The children rushed and surrounded her...

"Are you hurt ?" they asked.

Belamis felt a pain on her back. The beam somewhat injured her....she has cyborg strength but at the same time her body was human like, flesh and blood, and could experience pain and be wounded.

"I am OK." She said, ignoring her pain. "What is that ?" Belamis asked.

"We never have quakes like that here..." The lady at the orphanage said.

"The facilities!!" Belamis exclaimed....

She went rushing back to the facilities. She wanted to see if Dr. Kitty was well.

Dr. Kitty and others were outside the facilities. They evacuated from the facilities.
Nobody was hurt.

Belamis arrived, and asked, "Is everything OK ?"

"Seems OK. There is little damage". Assistant professor replied.

"The earthquake is not natural..." Dr. Kitty remarked..."there were no seismic activity detected...something is moving under the ground and caused the tremor..."

Suddenly there was a loud bang.....

The ground was broken, a huge creature, nearly 50 meters long, emerged....

"Monster!!!" The crowed exclaimed in terror and started to run.

"Run, Dr. Kitty...run!" Belamis urged, as she ran the opposite way, towards the monster without even blinking her eyes.

Dr. Kitty yelled, "No...Belamis...you cannot fight it!!! It's too dangerous".

"Had to divert it to a place where there's no people..." Belamis thought... the warrior blood in her flowed and boiled....it was her natural instinct, to protect her loved ones...in her subconscious, she was back to her home planet days again...

"No...it's heading to the orphanage!!!" Belamis thought. She ran faster, picked up a rock and throw to the monster with all her might.

The rock hit the monster and turned to Belamis.

"That's it...that's it...come to me!!"

Belamis hold her fists tight, and looked at the monster in its eyes fearlessly.

"Belamis is in danger!!!" Dr. Kitty exclaimed..."She has no weapons...no armor, ...just herself!!!"

The creature strike at Belamis with its front paws, where Belamis just narrowly escaped.

Then blasts after blasts -- the monster's eyes were firing cannons of lasers. Belamis ran and jumped, escaping narrowly, until she was behind a rock.

"How can I fight this ?" Belamis thought to herself.

She peeked out and found that a small rabbit was at the path of the monster.

"No!!!" Belamis ran out and chased away the rabbit. The giant paw of the monster was above her head, and Belamis had no choice but to push with her bare arms or she would be crushed.

"Belamis!!!" Dr. Kitty cried. She knew Belamis was strong but Belamis was still recovering, she was no match with that 500 tonne beast.

Belamis felt her bones was cracking, she was now on her knees as the crushing weight of the monster descends on her.

"I cannot loose this!" She thought....
Then the people heard a loud roar sound....that of a loud shout...Belamis was standing up on her too legs, with her own strength she pushed up and pushed away the crushing paw of the monster -- tonnes of heavy muscle and bone.

The monster did a back slap of the paw and hit Belamis, sending her flying to a rock. Belamis cried in pain, and felt as if the force of impact had broken her bones. She arose, immediately she felt a great pain on her left shoulder and arm. She glanced over -- her clothes were torn, there were blood streaming out. She clutched her teeth to fight the pain, and then leap up to the monster's face. The monster strike her with the strong paw, knocking her to the side of a cliff....

Strike after strike the monster hit Belamis like she was a softball, throwing her to rocks, to trees, to the ground...and each impact Belamis was in great pain.

Belamis moaned in pain as she sustained multiple wounds, then the claws lashed at her side .... her right torso was cut, the wound was deep and she was bleeding. Then the monster put its paws on her squashing her....
"Belamis!!!" Dr. Kitty cried ....

"Arrh..." Belamis moaned in pain...she felt she would be crushed, but when Belamis heard the cry from Dr. Kitty.....and she suddenly found strength...she peered and saw Dr. Kitty, then suddenly she felt determined - she pushed back the paw again with all her strength, exerting her arms' muscles and her pecs, where even people could hear her muscles exerting.

Slowly the monster's paw was pushed back, and then there was a wrestle...the entire weight of the monster pressing on the single paw, onto Belamis, and she pushing back.

But at the same time, Belamis was bleeding all over. Her left arm and shoulder, the wound on her body....

Dr. Kitty watched with deep worry.....hands over her mouth to hold back her tears...

Finally the armed force arrived, they fired missiles and rockets. The monster gave up and fled, digging into the ground.

With the crushing force released, Belamis fell from the hill side to the ground, and was knocked unconscious..........


There was only sounds of instruments and monitoring systems. After the fight, Belamis exerted herself too much, and was exhausted. She also sustained serious wounds on her body.
Dr. Kitty performed operation on her. Belamis left arm and shoulder was stitched 20 times, her right side another 30 times.

"She is very brave...." Assistant Professor remarked.
Dr. Kitty looked at Belamis as she lied in a coma. Her body bandaged on her left shoulder, arms and her torso. Dr. Kitty was very worried.
"She is severely injured, she is not the same cyborg now."

Belamis, when she was the cyborg, had her sword, her lightning speed to move from one space to another, and her fighter jet. Her injuries from that blast at the Great Planet did not kill her, and recently her cyborg body undergone a strange change.

"Her cyborg circuit is strange...we cannot detect its activity..." Dr. Kitty examined the screen where Belamis body X-ray and scanning images is seen. "The cyborg implants ...are invisible...".

"According to what we know about her planet, Belamis' cyborg implants are designed to merge with her body tissues and cells...." Assistant Professor added, "...during which....the cyborg attribute will merge with the cyborg's body and become part of the flesh.. that's what we know so far."

"Her body is undergoing cyborg metamorphosis..." Dr. Kitty said.

"The first time I examined her we still see her implants everywhere....only after 6 months...they were all gone..."

"It's no telling of what will become of her." Asst. Prof.

"The miniature control is still there".

The screen showed inside Belamis forehead, there is a signal. When magnified, a small unit, of a star shape, was embedded there, connected to her brain.

"We have to examine it." Dr. Kitty said, as she punches the keys, trying to scan that unit and get data on it.

The star shaped unit is the same star shape as Belamis emblem on her suit and her cape. The circuitry was complex.

Dr. Kitty looked at it and wonder what it is...

"It appears that the unit is tied to Belamis' mind.... but what does it do ?"

"It has a function...to inhibit her implants....to stop it from merging with her body.... there is also another function...what is that for..."
Dr. Kitty gazed at the data and the scanned image of the circuitry.
"I must find out". She said to herself.


In her coma...Belamis was having dreams....she tossed, frowned, and again murmuring in her dreams.

Dr. Kitty was at her side...
"She is having her nightmares again..." Dr. Kitty reached for Belamis hand and held her hand.

Then Belamis awoke and said, "Ma ma...". She gradually saw clearer..it was Dr. Kitty.
She again projected her love to her lost mother to Dr. Kitty.

Dr. Kitty just stroke her hair, and said, "You are seriously wounded...it is OK now, rest easy".

Belamis moved a bit, then she jolted as she disturbed her wounds, and she moaned.

"Is it hurting you ?" Dr. Kitty enquired kindly.

Belamis said, "My whole body aches... I can endure it...I am not afraid of pain or dying..."

Dr. Kitty nodded, and said, "but you must live...", as she held Belamis' hand, "you must take care of yourself... because we cared about you."

Belamis felt a surge of emotion in her....she gazed at Dr. Kitty, and could not say a thing.

"Close your eyes, go back to sleep now.." Dr. Kitty said as she tugged Belamis, putting quilt on her.

Belamis closed her eyes.

Then over the weeks, Dr. Kitty took care of Belamis, cleaning her wounds, changing the dressing on the bandages and checking her vitals.

The process of cleaning wounds hurts, but Belamis endured. Dr. Kitty's care was tender, and Belamis gazed without a word. Slowly and unconsciously, Belamis started to feel a bond with Dr. Kitty, and began to treat Dr. Kitty as her own mother.

After two weeks, Belamis recovered completely.

"Her vitals are strong..." Assistant Professor said.
"Despite the serious wounds....her body is healing fast..." Dr. Kitty remarked.

Then she turned to the mysterious star shaped circuitry. She has been analyzing the data collected.

"According to the data, the circuitry is to keep the implant at check...so that Belamis' cyborg nanobot implants are permanently embedded, and not merge with her body.....that's why Belamis is depressed about loosing her female body...but the controls are off now...Belamis body and the implants merged....her body is now flesh and blood...but the cyborg powers are now acting differently..."

Then an image showing Belamis body, bone and muscle structure appeared.
"Her bones and muscles density are increasing, Belams is getting stronger and stronger...."

The image panned to Belamis chest, where her breasts were.

"Even the tissue of her entire breasts are modified....the tissues become muscle like..." The image showing her pectorals and her breasts tissues are indistinguishable, the structures merged into a set of extended pectorals.

"The blood analysis of Belamis is back...." Assistant Professor said.
"We ran checks on her genetic information....she is not like other Gariusu beings according to our database" Assistant Professor continued.
"There's a mutation ?" Dr. Kitty asked.
"No... she was the very minority group of beings there with special abilities..." Assistant Professor added.

"Let me have a look." Dr. Kitty looked at Assistant Professor's screen.

"What is that ?"
The screen showed a morphing sequence, a being suddenly grows to gigantic size, strong and full of muscles.
Dr. Kitty gazed and was in deep pondering.
"Is there anything about the circuitry to do with this .... ﹖" Dr. Kitty wondered.
"What ?" Assistant Professor asked.
"I am not sure...."


Two weeks passed, Belamis recovered from her injury and can go back to the orphanage.

The children missed her and surrounded her when she showed up.

"Belamis...you are back!"
"We are worried about you..."
Children all talked at the same time, asking how she was.
Belamis smiled and said, "I am all good." Then she played the same game with the children again: picking eight of them up in her arms....
"Yeah!!!!!!! Belamis! Belamis"...the children cheered as their hero was back.

"Go back to your classes....I will play with all of you!" Belamis smiled and said.

As she watched the kids went back to the classroom. She stood up, and wander about.
Then she went to a secluded location, hidden behind trees at the hill top where she never seen before.

"A shed...somebody else is living here ?"
She walked near it...beside it was a little plot of land with vegetables, it was a simple shed, there were clothes hanging there.

Then something caught her eye.

She picked it up....it was a bamboo samurai sword for kendo practicing.

Belamis was a swords fighter, she hold it as though she was holding her own sword and gazed at it.

"So.... you know how to weld a sword?"

Belamis turned. An old man was talking to her. He walked slowly, with a cane tapping the ground and his hand held forward. He was blind.

Belamis wanted to put down the sword.
"Don't move...hold it right there" The old man said, as he strolled forward.
"Let me see...." He put his hand on Belamis right hand, then over her forearms, feeling her forearms muscles in detail.

"Yes...the way you hold the sword... your arms..."

Then he reached towards Belamis left hand, grab it and put it onto the handle of the sword.

"Use your both hands....there..." The old man helped Belamis to hold the sword in the standard kendo position.

Belamis hold the bamboo sword with both hands and looked. Her sword fighting skills were on one hand, she can use her left hand too. She knew nothing about kendo... she was lost in thoughts.

"Hey...."
Belamis turned, the old man had a bamboo sword too...

"Let's have a little game, you and me" smiles the old man.

"No... I..." Belamis was a trained swordsman and chivalrous..to fight one with a disability is something she will never do.

The old man smiled, "Come on, don't worry" as he ready his posture.

Immediately Belamis sense a strength from him.
"He is not what he seems...." She hold the sword, gradually focusing, then her mind is clear.
The old man moved...Belamis still had her swordsman reflex, responded...two bamboo swords clashed many times, welded wildly...
The old man's moves were quick and tricky....Belamis responded.
"You have more in you....don't hold back" said the old man.
Belamis remained silent...only using her reflexes and defended herself.

Then the both suddenly both stopped in midair.

The old man smiled again. "Why do you stop ?"
"Why ?.... I saw you stop first..." Belamis replied.
The old man smiled, dropped the sword, and said, "Come in..."
Belamis put down the sword and followed.

It was a small but cosy place. Belamis sat herself down.
"Come...have some tea" The old man offered her hot tea.
Belamis picked up the cup and sipped.
"You are not trained to use both hands to hold a sword to fight..." The old man smiled.
"Yet your swordsmanship serves you well. You responded naturally...like the sword is part of you."
"I don't know. I did not think." Belamis replied.
"You do not need to think....you made the sword part of your arms and it will just move naturally... you are a born swordsman." The old man remarked.
"I learned to use the sword ever since I can remember..."
Belamis was in deep thought. Back in her home planet, she was the daughter of a general, and she was raised like a soldier since childhood. She learned fencing, sword fighting and fighting skills at a young age. When she became a cyborg, she was given a electromagnetic saber to match her strongest skills -- the sword.

"Let me touch you face...I want to know what you looked like.." The old man said.

Belamis took his hand and placed it on her face.

The old man used both hands, his fingers feeling her hair, her head, her eye brows, her nose and face...

"You...have a beautiful face...but you are so sad...." The old man murmured...

"Come to me everyday.... I liked you" The old man said.

Belamis did not know what to say at first...she was not sure why. She said, "Yes, I will come."

Hence, between her chores at the orphanage she spent 3 or 4 hours with the old man.

The old man did not teach her to use the sword, but had her sat down and meditate.
"Sit here, with me, like this, facing me". The old man sat down.

Belamis followed his words and sat down.

Suddenly the old man grab the wooden sword and in great lighting speed he poked Belamis left chest, and poked into her left nipple, where the pain was most severe.
Belamis did not move to get out of the way, but took the poke, and did not make a sound, and stayed still.

The old man applied force, pressing the tip of the sword harder onto her left nipple, crushing the nerve endings under it....the sound of the muscles being crushed can be heard.

Belamis still didn't move...but she felt the pain, she endured it, and was shaking. The pain was intense and drops of sweat was forming round her head.

The old man pushed still harder...Belamis clutched her teeth, but she still didn't move.
Then suddenly the old man release the pressure...
Belamis breathed a breath of relief, still shaking...

"Why don't you move and avert when I strike ?" The old man asked. "You can even stop me...but you are letting me do this to you."

"I just know that you will not harm me....even if you are doing this to me." Belamis replied.

"Inside you, is the heart of a samurai, a knight, and a pure soul".
The old man said.
"But that pain point at your chest, in your heart you have pains too...and like what you just did... you are enduring your pains in your heart.."

Belamis trembled...and bow her head....her emotions were stirring now...

"I can see even though I lost my sight." The old man smiled....

She knew what the old man was talking about.. yet before the old man, she did not feel vulnerable of he seeing into her pains...Belamis was shaking again....now it was her emotions...

She looked up, and said, "Teach me."

The old man nodded and smile, "You will be my best disciple...".

Ever since, Belamis was going through an intense discipline of sitting meditation.

That exercise was to help Belamis build up her awareness and alertness, and directly got in touch with her inner feelings and emotions, so that she could confront them.

The old man would often use the sword to hit Belamis at parts where the pain would be severe ... her knuckles, her underarms, and her ribs....often poking to pain spots on her body....

"You have to feel your body, and then your heart...experience these pains...and let them flow through you....because you are not a piece of wood, but a human". The old man said, as he pressed Belamis right nipple hard with the tip of the sword....
Belamis gave a soft moan, but endured the pain....

The Belamis felt a piercing pain in her heart, it felt like it was infinitely more painful than being poked at her body pain spots...

She was shaking...not from the body's pain, but from her heart...she felt the same pain as though her heart was being ripped apart...cut with a knife...being strangled...

"Experience it and also remain alert, and be aware". Said the old man.

Then the old man weld the sword to strike her...Belamis would then use her hands to stop the sword, in the midst of her mediation, and experiencing her pains.

When the meditation was done, the old man told her to carry a big load of bricks, up and down the stairs.

"One step at each of you breath". The old man instructed. "As you breathe, feel your breath... with high awareness and alert...".

Belamis carried the heavy load of bricks on her back, and walked up the steps slowly.
At each step she took a deep breath, feeling the air, her expanding chest etc. then she felt her footsteps, and felt each of her moving muscles....

Then the old man got Belamis to pull a plough, to plough the plot behind the hills.

Belamis complied, putting the yoke on her, and pull the plough.

"As you pull.." The old man instructed..."feel the yoke on your shoulder...feel the earth and mud beneath your feet...."

She pulled the plough, she focused...feeling the yoke on her shoulders and the earth beneath her feet....

That was half the day. Belamis washed herself at a small stream...She saw her reflection on the waters...she was tanned, and her shoulders were getting strong...the scar was clearly visible on her arm.

"I am flesh and blood...inside and out..." As she touched her own skin...

"Here are some rice shoots..." The old man handed those shoots to her.

"Plant them alongside with me".

Then she planted the rice, with bare foot, walking in mud with the old man.
"Rise...and breathe" the old man said.
Belamis rose and stood upright, and she felt a breeze blowing through her long black hair...she felt her body and mind was in unity with nature....

Then at night, she stayed behind slept on the wooden floors of the shed, with only her jacket to cover her at night...

But then...the nightmare....

Belamis again saw the destruction of her home planet, deaths of her family...

She woke up ...and the old man was with her.

"Memories again...?"

"Yes..." Belamis replied.

Tears was streaming out of her eyes, and she was shaking....

Belamis stood up, walked to the field, looked at the night sky, and fell on her knees.
She cried....the first time after her planet blew up....she joined Queen Lacet's force in the hope of building her dream.. her dream shattered and she lost another home... now she really let go of herself and cried.

The old man stood and listened Belamis cried her intense cries to the night sky....it was like the howling of a wolf.... Belamis, the lone wolf in cosmos...

Then Belamis collapsed after her intense crying... the old man carried her back to the shed, and gently wiping the tears on her face.

Note: In the original SF Starzinger, only after all these years I realize the pains Belamis had. In the series she had a literal repeat of her pains in loosing her home planet -- she buried a friend of hers, she lost Queen Lacets who she treated like her mother, and saw the planet of Lacet's blew up - these were all a replay of her tragic past: loosing her mother, her friend and her planet. I believed the shattering of her dreams, the repeat of the tragic events she experienced, then her guilt after realizing she served a evil regime, took a toll on her soul. However I am convinced she was a strong survivor, she escaped the explosion, fought to get herself out the volcano which Prince Garma trapped her, and still helped people. Her choice of sacrificing herself at episode 64 is not consistent with her character.

這日風和日麗，比拉絲與吉蒂博士離開研究所，在附近走動。比拉絲仔細看著地球的花朵，聞著空氣，未幾已經到達海邊。

「風景很美，是嗎？」吉蒂博士說。

比拉絲自失去故鄉星球以來，未看見這樣的美景，她定睛的看，感受海風。

「你呆在研究所裡面也很久了，出來走走也好的。」吉蒂博士說。

比拉絲點點頭，說：「是的，反正我也有時間…」

吉蒂博士先回研究所，留下比拉絲一人。她漫無目的地走，看見一群孩子。突然一個足球掉到她面前。

「勞駕你，請把足球拋給我們！」一群孩子叫道。

比拉絲把球拋給他們，就在一旁看著孩子們玩。

孩子們在路邊一處空地踢球，這是足球又掉了出去，跌到路上，一個幼小女孩，四五歲年紀，一崩一崩跳的去追球。她卻看不見有輛車子正高速駛到。

「危險啊！」比拉絲不及細想，運用她再造人的迅速移動、快如閃電的到了女孩傍邊，一手抱起女孩奮力躍起，跳到路邊，僅僅避開車子。

比拉絲吁了口氣，看看手抱著的女孩安然無恙，輕撫她頭髮，把她抱著，一步步走向孩子群那裡。

迎面而來是個中年女子，氣急敗壞：「真謝謝你救了貴子…」

「不用客氣…」比拉絲說，然後把女孩交給她。

「貴子已經沒有父母…要是她給車子撞了…真不知道如何是好…」那女子說。

「她…他們是孤兒？」比拉絲驚道，瞪大眼睛。

「是的。這些孩子是那山上的孤兒院住的，我是他們的舍監…」那女子往附近山上一指。

「孩子們，今天出來玩的時間完了，回去罷！」那女子呼喊到。孩子們都乖乖跟著她走。比拉絲也跟隨他們走，來到山下。

那裡有道長長的石級，比拉絲看見有幾個是肢體殘廢的孩子。

「上到盡頭就是孤兒院了。」她看見比拉絲盯著那幾個肢體殘廢的孩子。

「我們要靠好心的過路人幫忙揹負他們下來上去的，如果沒有，他們就要留下不出來。」那女子解釋道。

比拉絲二話不說，先把一個揹負在背上，然後左手一個，右手一個，就把三個肢體殘廢的孩子揹負抱起，一步一步走上石級。

孩子們都驚訝比拉絲一個女青年居然有這麼大的力氣，但更被她的仁慈感動了。

到了石級盡頭，就是孤兒院。那裡只是一片小地方，有起居飲食的地方，煮食的地方，上課的地方，但沒有多少空地可以玩，因為附近不是石頭就是懸崖。

「我們有時候需要給孩子活動，就下山去那空地。因為石級太長，我們平日很少新鮮食物，因為太重，我們不能買多。」

比拉絲怔怔的看著這些孤兒和那道石級。

自這天之後，每週六天比拉絲都來到孤兒院幫手。

她貢獻自己的勞動力，從市場買來大量的新鮮食物、蔬果，比拉絲揹負上去。從此孤兒院經常可以吃新鮮食物和美味的蔬果。

孩子們很喜歡比拉絲，總愛叫她伸直兩臂，然後兩手抓著她手臂，幾個孩子在她臂上掛著。比拉絲的再造人體質令她有驚人的氣力，她雙臂可以輕易讓六七個孩子掛著。

孩子上課的時候比拉絲在園中工作，挖泥、種花、除草、淋水等，弄得全身骯髒。但比拉絲感到無比快樂。她不用跟怪獸戰鬥，而是在人類中間生活，用她的能力幫助人，而孩子們都愛她。

吉蒂博士也留意到比拉絲面上變得容光煥發，笑容多了。杜杜教授說：「每次她從孤兒院回來，都是一面滿足快樂…」

「她在那裡找到和人聯繫和相處的機會，那對她是好的…之前她一直孤獨的流浪、戰鬥著」
吉蒂博士知道比拉絲和人聯繫、交往，和被愛，對她心靈是有好處的。

「她內心的創傷開始慢慢的治療了…」

比拉絲不斷的勞動令她從新感覺自己是一個人，而非一副戰鬥機器的再造人。她用自己的力氣、勞動，在人中間生活，也感受到被愛。

孤兒院孩童需要出外的時候，比拉絲就揹負著那幾個肢體殘廢的孩子上落石級，也經常揹負重重的新鮮食物回去。她和孩子們的關係日益親厚，孩子們深愛她。

比拉絲對孤兒院孩童的愛深厚，到了一個願意犧牲自己保護他們的地步。

在地球以外、太空遠處，卻有敵人虎視耽耽。

「保衛地球的再造人都到了太陽系外…有大段時間他們不會回來」

「地球這時候沒有他們保護，正是我們行動的機會」

「開始計劃第一步！」

比拉絲這天正在課室幫助孤兒們做功課。

突然間…

「有震動啊…」一個孩童叫道。

塵土從上面掉落，孩子們開始驚惶，驚呼：「地震！」

「快走！出去空曠地方！」比拉絲叫道。

她轉頭要揹負那幾個肢體殘廢行動不便的孩童，但屋梁掉下，比拉絲叫道：「不要！」她搶前然後屋梁砸到她背部。

「嗚…」比拉絲感到一陣痛楚，屋梁擊中她背部。比拉絲極力支撐著屋梁，然後用雙臂舉起屋梁，然後叫道：「快走！」其他孩子盡力把幾個肢體殘廢的孩童扶走！

孩子們走到外面後，課室倒塌了。瓦礫一陣動靜，是比拉絲推開瓦礫走出來了。

孩子們一陣歡呼，包圍著她，問：「你有沒有受傷？」


比拉絲感到背部的痛。雖然她是再造人，但她和血肉之軀的人一樣會受傷，掉在她背部的屋梁弄傷了她。

「我沒事！」她說，忍著背部和肩膀的痛楚，然後說：「發生了什麼事？」

「那是地震。但我們這地方很少有這樣的地震！」負責孤兒院的女子說。

「研究所！」

比拉絲飛奔回去看看吉蒂博士等人。研究所的人，包括吉蒂博士等人都已經疏散，站住外邊。

比拉絲到了，找著吉蒂博士，問：「大家都沒事罷？」

吉蒂博士說：「眾人都安全。這不是自然的地震，研究所探測不到地殼變動…」

突然一聲巨響，地面裂開，一頭巨大、貌如地鼠的巨獸爬出來。眾人馬上驚呼：「怪獸啊！」

「你們快逃走！」比拉絲叫道，卻奔向怪獸那裡。

「比拉絲！別去！危險啊！」吉蒂博士叫道。

但比拉絲早已經頭也不回跑了去。「要把牠引開，遠離有人煙的地方」她心想。她體內天生的戰士血液正在沸騰，她本能地去戰鬥、奮不顧身的保護自己愛的人，這是她天性。比拉絲內心深處已經回到以前加流斯星的和怪物戰鬥的日子。

「糟糕，牠要向孤兒院那裡去！」比拉絲馬上撿起一塊石頭奮力拋去怪獸身體。石頭打中了牠，牠回過頭來，走向比拉絲。

「對了、對了，追著我罷！」比拉絲心想。她緊握拳頭，直視怪獸、毫不畏懼。

「比拉絲身上沒有保護、也沒有武器，只是赤手空拳…」吉蒂博士心想。

怪獸用前爪不斷擊打比拉絲，她靠敏捷的身手跳避。然後怪獸眼睛發射熱線，比拉絲不斷飛躍跳避，躲到一塊巨石後。

「…這樣下去不是辦法的…」比拉絲想。這時候她發現有隻小兔子真在怪物的面前不遠。

「危險啊！」比拉絲馬上跳出去，把兔子趕走，這時候怪獸的巨爪向她壓來，比拉絲無處可逃，只得舉起雙臂去擋。

「比拉絲！」吉蒂博士叫道。她知道比拉絲強壯，但她只是康復了不久，也沒有武器，巨獸幾百噸的重量壓下、比拉絲根本無法抵擋。

比拉絲奮力抵抗，她感到全身的骨骼要碎裂、雙腳跪倒地上，怪獸的重量壓下來。

「我不能輸！」比拉絲想。

人們突然聽見一聲怒吼。是比拉絲發出的。她只用血肉之軀，居然慢慢挺立，抵擋了怪獸數以百噸重量，只靠兩條手臂舉起那巨爪。

怪物突然用爪一下打去，擊中比拉絲。比拉絲整個人飛去、撞上巨石。

「嗚唷……」比拉絲一陣痛楚，好像全身的骨頭要裂開。她站起，馬上感到左肩膀和手臂一陣劇痛，她一看，她衣服撕裂，左臂血流如注。比拉絲咬緊牙關忍受痛楚，飛躍向怪獸，怪獸一爪擊中了她，打得她撞到山坡上。

怪物用雙爪左右開弓擊打比拉絲，直把她當球一樣打來打去，打得她撞上石頭、大樹，比拉絲低聲呼痛，每下重擊都打得她全身痛楚無比。怪獸利爪一掃，在比拉絲右脅劃開一道傷口、登時鮮血噴出。比拉絲跌在山坡上，怪獸的巨爪壓來，要把她壓扁。

「嗚…」比拉絲呼痛。

「比拉絲！」吉蒂博士叫道。

比拉絲聽見吉蒂博士的聲音，看見吉蒂博士在遠處，她臉上盡是關懷憐愛，很擔憂的看著自己。這時比拉絲心中充滿了勇氣和決心，大叫一聲，奮力用雙臂推開怪獸的巨爪。她運起雙臂的肌肉、和胸部的肌肉，奮力推，力量之大人們甚至聽見她肌肉運力的聲音。

怪物居然被比拉絲推開，她用血肉之軀和巨大怪物角力。但她遍體鱗傷、手臂、身體都鮮血淋漓。吉蒂博士捂著口、忍著眼淚，看著比拉絲忍受痛楚搏鬥。

這時幾支導彈擊中怪獸，軍隊到來了。

怪物馬上放開比拉絲，掘地逃走了。

怪物一放開，比拉絲抵抗的巨大壓力消失，她也不支倒地。

四處除了儀器的聲音外，就沒有其他聲音。比拉絲體力透支暈倒，而身體也受重傷。吉蒂博士為她施手術，左臂肩膀逢了二十針，右邊身體三十針。

「她很勇敢。」杜杜教授說。
吉蒂博士看著比拉絲，她身體左肩膀、身體都紮著繃帶，正在昏迷中。
吉蒂博士憂心忡忡，說：「她傷勢很重……而且她不像最初我們見那時候的那個再造人…」

比拉絲成為再造人戰士的時候，有她的戰衣、佩劍、戰鬥機和迅速移動的能力。她在大王星受重傷險死還生，復原後身體開始出現變化。

「奇怪…她的再造回路沒有任何反應？」吉蒂博士望著螢光幕，上面是比拉絲的X光透視圖片和她身體掃描的圖像。「殖在她全身的再造微機體都不見了…？」

「據我們現在有關於她星球的資料，她體內的再造微機體是會和她身體組織融合的…」杜杜教授說。「…然後她的身體和再造人機體特質會結合…我現在就只有這麼多資料…」

「她身體正發生某種再造人蛻變…」吉蒂博士說。「當天我們發現她的時候，我們還可以看見她身體裡面都是那些再造微機體…現在都不見了…」

杜杜教授說：「她身體會有什麼變化呢…」

「那個神秘的控制元件還在！」杜杜教授說。

螢光幕顯示比拉絲額頭、頭顱中有一個小小的訊號。放大後原來是一個微型元件，形狀是一個十字星型的組件，殖在裡面，和比拉絲腦部聯繫著。

「我要去研究分析它。」吉蒂博士說。她鍵入指令，要儀器和電腦掃描那組件、收集數據。
那十字星型的組件形狀和比拉絲戰衣胸前、斗篷後的藍色十字星一樣形狀，儀器顯示那組件構造十分複雜。
吉蒂博士看著那組件，覺得很好奇。「那組件是和比拉絲的心思聯繫的。它能做什麼？」然後她看出來的分析：「那是用來壓抑她體內的再造人微機體、防止它們和再造人的身體組織融合的？數據顯示它好像有另外一個作用，但那是什麼？」

吉蒂博士看著那組件的數據和掃描圖像，說：「我要找出這組件的構造和作用。」

比拉絲一直昏迷，昏迷中她又作噩夢，輾轉反側、說夢話。

吉蒂博士一直守在她床邊，心想：「她又夢見自己以前故鄉星球的事了…」她身手握著比拉絲的手。

比拉絲從夢中驚醒，道：「媽媽？」她慢慢看清楚，眼前的是吉蒂博士，比拉絲不自覺把自己對母親的思念投射去吉蒂博士身上。

吉蒂博士輕輕撫摸她頭髮，柔聲道：「你受傷昏迷了幾天，你沒有事的，好好休息…」

比拉絲輕輕動了一下，牽動了傷口，輕聲呼痛。「嗚…」

「傷口很痛嗎？」吉蒂博士關切的問。

「我整個身體都痛…但我不怕痛楚…也不怕死」比拉絲倔強的道。

吉蒂博士點點頭，說：「但你也要好好的活下去…好好照顧你自己…我們大家都關心你的…」

比拉絲內心一陣感動，怔怔的看著吉蒂博士。

吉蒂博士也看見她眼睛裡面泛著淚光，柔聲道：「合眼好好睡罷。」說著輕輕給她蓋上棉被。

比拉絲於是合起眼皮睡了。

此後數星期，吉蒂博士照料比拉絲，給她清洗傷口、換紗布繃帶、檢驗她的身體狀況。

清洗傷口是十分痛楚的，但比拉絲一一忍受著，吉蒂博士很溫柔的照料她，比拉絲默然的看著吉蒂博士照顧自己，內心慢慢的把吉蒂博士當作是自己母親一樣。

兩星期後，他們在看比拉絲身體的數據。

「她身體很強壯…」杜杜教授說。

「雖然是重傷，但她全癒得很快」吉蒂博士說。吉蒂博士再看看那十字星形狀的組件。

吉蒂博士一直分析從它收集的數據。

「原 本它的作用是令再造人微機體不會和再造人的身體組織融合，讓它們遍佈身體各處…比拉絲曾經為了成為再造人、失去女性的身體而難過就是這原因…但這十字星 組件好像已經不再發揮作用了…比拉絲的身體和再造人微機體完全融合了…成為她血肉之軀的一部份…但她再造人的能力好像開始不同了…」

螢光幕顯示一幅比拉絲肌肉和骨骼構造掃描。「比拉絲的肌肉密度不斷上升，越來越強壯，骨骼密度強硬度也上升…」螢光幕顯示比拉絲的胸脯，原本她乳房所在。

「整個胸脯的肌肉組織都變化了…乳房組織變化得和肌肉組織一樣…」吉蒂博士說。螢光幕所見比拉絲的胸肌和乳房組織已經毫無分別，形成一組更加強壯的胸肌結構。

「她血液分析結果回來了…」杜杜教授說。「我們比較過她的遺傳基因構造，她和其他加流斯星人基因是不同的…」杜杜教授續道。
「她有異常的基因？」吉蒂博士問。
「不，她基因是屬於那星球一個少數星人的…」杜杜教授續道。
「我來看看…」吉蒂博士說。

「那是什麼？」

螢光幕顯示一個身體變化的連環圖表，顯示著一個人體變身成為一個肌肉強壯的巨人。

吉蒂博士怔怔的看著，心裡面不斷思索。

「那十字星形狀的組件會不會隱藏著其他玄機？」吉蒂博士問。

兩星期後比拉絲完全復原，再回去孤兒院那裡。

孩子們不見了她幾個星期，都想念她， 一看見比拉絲就包圍她。

「比拉絲你回來了！」「我們好想你啊」孩子們都大呼小叫，迎接他們心目中的女英雄回來。

比拉絲微笑說：「我很好！」她又和孩子玩他們喜歡的遊戲，雙臂舉起八個小孩子。孩子們歡呼。

「上課時間到了，先上課罷！一會我和你們玩！」比拉絲道。

她看著孩子走入課室後，就站起來四處走，到了山頂一個僻靜的角落。

那地方是在一片樹木後，她從來未去過的。

「是間小屋…有人住在這裡？」比拉絲心想。

她走近看，是所簡陋的小屋，外面涼了衣服，無外有片小耕地，種了些菜。

比拉絲看見一樣東西，她走近拿起：那是柄劍道使用的竹劍。

比拉絲自己是個劍士，她慣性的用自己握劍的手法拿著竹劍，怔怔的看得出神。

「啊，你懂得用劍的嗎？」

比拉絲回頭一望，原來是個老者，正走向她。那老者用手杖敲打地面，一手伸直探著前方，那老人是雙目失明的。

比拉絲正想放下竹劍，那老者說：「不用放下，就這樣拿著別動。」他慢慢走近，然後說：「讓我『看看』…」他把手放在比拉絲的右手，用手仔細的感受比拉絲的手和前臂的肌肉。
「嗯…你的手、手臂和握劍的手法…」老人自言自語道。

他伸手抓著比拉絲的左手，然後放到竹劍的劍柄上。

「用雙手握劍…這樣子」他幫比拉絲用雙手、按照劍道的姿勢握劍。

比拉絲雙手握著竹劍，看著出神。她學的劍術是單手握劍，她左右手都能靈活使劍，偶然她也會雙手用劍，但只是很少招式需要如此。

「嗨…」

比拉絲轉過頭來，只見老人已經手握竹劍。

老人笑道：「你來跟我玩兩手…」

「我…不…」比拉絲是個重視榮譽的戰士，而且充滿俠義心腸，要她和一個有殘疾的人對打是她說什麼也不肯的。

「別怕，來吧。」老人笑著說，擺了個架式。

比拉絲馬上感動他有股氣勢，當下不敢輕視他。

「他不是那麼簡單的。」她也緊握竹劍，集中精神。

老人首先出招，比拉絲只靠她原來學習劍術的本能與反應擋架著。兩柄劍互相撞擊、快速的揮動。
老人出招很快而且刁鑽，比拉絲則沉著的抵擋著。

「你的本領不只是這樣的…不要留手！」老人說。

比拉絲一聲不吭，只用她自己學劍的反應迎擊老人的劍招。

突然兩人的劍停在半空。

老人微笑道：「你幹嗎住手了？」

「為什麼？…我看見你首先住手…」比拉絲回答道。

老人笑了，他把劍放下，說：「跟我進去…」說罷走入小屋。
比拉絲也放下劍，跟隨老人入小屋裡面。

小屋雖然地方不大，但整潔舒適。比拉絲坐在地上。

「來，喝點茶…」老人倒了杯茶出來給她。
比拉絲接過，呷了一口。
「你學的劍術，不是用雙手使劍為主的…」老人說。「不過你劍士的本能很好，你雙手使劍很自然、竹劍有如你身體的一部份…」
「我不知道是否這樣，我當時什麼也沒有想過」比拉絲回答。
「你根本不需要思考怎樣用劍…你已經令竹劍變成你手臂一部份，用你裡面的本能自然的反應，你是個天生的劍士…」老人說道。
「我從小就學劍術的了…」比拉絲說。

比拉絲進入沉思。她記得在故鄉星球加流斯星的日子。她是個將軍的女兒，自小就被訓練得像一個軍人一樣，從小就學劍術、格鬥、武術等。當她成為再造人的時候，她被佩給的武器就是一柄電磁劍，與她最擅長的劍術匹配。

「讓我撫摸你的面額…我想知道你是什麼樣子的」老人說。

比拉絲伸手捉著老人雙手，放老人雙手到自己面額上。

老人輕輕的用手掌與指頭，感覺比拉絲的頭髮、眼眉、眼睛、鼻子、面孔、嘴唇等。

「你有張美麗的面孔……但你很憂愁」老人說。

「你每天都來罷…我喜歡你」老人說。

比拉絲不知道如何回答，但終於說：「好的。」

於是比拉絲在孤兒院幹活後，每天有三、四小時都會到老人的小屋那裡。

老人不是教導她劍道，而是要她打坐。

「這樣坐著，向著我。」老人說。

比拉絲聽從了，然後打坐，面向老人。

突然老人抓起地上的竹劍，猛力把劍頭刺向比拉絲左胸，擊中了她乳頭的位置。乳頭佈滿神經線，是極痛楚的。
但比拉絲卻不避開，受了那一擊，一聲不響，動也不動。

老人用力把劍頭大力壓在她乳頭的位置，壓著裡面的神經線，劍頭壓向比拉絲肌肉、「勒勒」作響。

比拉絲仍然動也不動，忍受痛楚，全身發抖。那痛楚非常劇烈，汗珠開始在比拉絲額上流出。老人再用力，比拉絲只是咬緊牙關，忍耐著不動。忽然他馬上把劍撤了，比拉絲吁了口氣，身體仍然是戰抖著。

「你為何不避開？你有能力擋格我的劍，你為何一動也不動去受我這劍？」老人問。

「我知道你不是想傷害我…雖然你是用劍刺我…」比拉絲回答道。

「你裡面是個劍士、武士的靈魂，一顆赤子之心…」老人說。

「那只是你胸脯上面的痛處，你內心也有痛苦。就像剛才你強忍胸脯的劇痛，你也忍受著你內心的苦楚…」老人說。

比拉絲心頭一震、全身發抖，她低下頭，內心充滿掙扎。

「我雙目失明，但我看內心是很清楚的。」老人柔聲說。

她知道老人說的是什麼，但在他面前，雖然自己的痛苦被老人看透，但她並不感到自己脆弱，她內心情感洶湧，身體發抖。比拉絲抬起頭來，說：「教導我。」

老人點頭說：「你會是我最好的徒弟…」

此後比拉絲跟隨老人學習打坐、潛修，老人嚴格的訓練她。

這些修練令比拉絲變得更加醒覺、內心清明，而且讓她直接面對內心的痛苦與情感。

老人同時會用竹劍擊打比拉絲身體最痛楚的部份，例如手指的關節、乳頭、腋下等，往往用劍頭戮在她身體令她痛楚的穴位上。

「你要同時候感受你身體和心裡面的苦楚…直接感受它們、別逃避…因為你是一個人…」老人邊說，就用力把竹劍頭壓向比拉絲右邊乳頭、大力壓下、比拉絲咬緊牙關忍受痛楚。

她感到內心有一股劇烈的刺痛、刺破自己的心一樣，比她右胸感受的痛楚還痛楚萬倍。
比拉絲全身戰抖著，不是因為身體的痛楚，而是內心痛楚得有如被撕裂、被刀刺、被絞一樣。

「忍受你內心的痛苦的時候，仍然要保持心境清明…」老人說。

在修鍊中間，老人會用劍打她，比拉絲邊感受、經歷內心的苦楚，卻又要保持驚覺，擋駕打來的劍。

完成打坐的修鍊，老人指指一大堆磚頭，對比拉絲說：「揹起它們，來回走下走上石級…」

「每次走一步的時候，保持警覺和心境的清明…」老人說。

比拉絲揹起那大堆磚頭，一步一步走石級，她感受自己的呼吸、自己的雙腿、和肌肉如何用力。完成了這個，老人又說：「你把犁頭的軛套在你肩膀上，感受軛的壓力，感受你腳下的泥土。」
比拉絲脫了鞋子、捲起褲管，赤腳走到田中，把犁頭的軛套上，拖著犁頭，她肩頭感到軛、腳板踏在泥土上，一步一步的拖著犁頭走。

就這樣過了半天，比拉絲走到小溪傍邊洗面。在水的倒影中，她看見自己身體晒黑了，一雙肩膀結實強壯，左臂的傷疤清晰可見。

她用雙手撫摸自己手臂和結實的身體：「我整個都是血肉之軀…」

「來。這些是稻米的苗，和我一起種罷。」老人把稻苗拿來。

比拉絲赤腳和老人站在泥濘裡面，一起種稻苗。

「站起來，呼吸一下」老人又說。
比拉絲站起，一陣清風吹過，她深深呼吸了一下，感受自己浸在泥濘的腳。風吹起了她烏黑的秀髮，她感到和自然融為一體。

到了晚上，比拉絲在老人的小屋地板睡覺、只是披上她的外套。

她又作噩夢，夢見了自己故鄉星球遭遇的厄運和毀滅。

她驚醒，看見老人在她傍邊。

「你記起往事了？」老人問。

比拉絲這時候淚水從眼睛湧出來，全身戰抖。

比拉絲站起，走出去田裡面，然後跪倒地上，望著星空，終於她哭出來了。

自她故鄉星球遭逢浩劫、加入了拉色斯軍團成為隊長要建立她夢想的宇宙然後夢想失敗、再遭遇失去星球、朋友的痛楚以來，比拉絲終於放聲大哭。

老人在背後看著比拉絲痛苦的向夜空哀號、有如一頭狼的嚎叫聲音。她本來就是宇宙裡面美麗的豺狼、也是一匹孤獨的狼…

終於比拉絲痛哭後不支倒地。老人把她抱起，回到屋內，輕輕抹去她面上的淚水…